Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

I can count

I see through liars

Image of giant volcano on Mars captured by NASA orbiter - ABC News

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

NY retail worker safety law takes effect this week. Here’s what it does. - Gothamist

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

2 North Texas malls rank among the best malls in the U.S. that 'elevate the shopping experience' - WFAA

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

24 Tech Products You'll Want To Add To Your Routine ASAP - BuzzFeed

I have a reading level above third grade

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand how hurricane paths work

How do we know that Taylor Swift was originally a brunette?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

‘The Studio’ and ‘Hacks’ Are Two of the Best Shows Ever About Hollywood — But Are They Too Inside or PTSD-Inducing? - Variety

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do companies cull employees during financial downturns without saying so?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t cotton to rapists

Weekend Box Office: How to Train Your Dragon Dethrones Lilo & Stitch with Fierce $84 Million Debut - Rotten Tomatoes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Six killed by Israeli gunfire near Gaza aid site, Hamas officials say - BBC

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

NASA’s Chandra Sees Surprisingly Strong Black Hole Jet at Cosmic “Noon” - NASA (.gov)

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

The solar system as we know it may change forever - Notebookcheck

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What fiber optic setup would you recommend for a small business network?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Mario Kart World tech analysis, including frame rate and resolution - Nintendo Everything

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

How did a computer scientist such as Geoffrey Hinton manage to win a Nobel Prize in physics when computer science already has its own Nobel Prize equivalent in the Turing Awards?

I can read

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.